It seems to be 'Heart-Warming News Day' today which makes a welcome change from the usual barrage of awfulness which fills the papers.
First Amy Winehouse gets nominated for 6 Grammy awards. Admittedly she isn't in a brilliant place on a personal level at the moment (in fact Celebritish finds the whole thing far too depressing to write about these days) but anything that might cheer her up and get her away from Britain is a good thing.
Then Babyshambles turned a no-show from Doherty and the bassist into a jolly old jig, first performing with special guests and then inviting a fan on stage to perform with them. It's apt that the day they actually do something worthwhile is the day idiot junkie doesn't turn up isn't it? By the way, don't panic, we're assured Pete's absence was "not anything to do with drugs being taken", which seems unlikely as his entire life is to do with drugs being taken. Ho hum.
Finally, Victoria Beckham has become honest and humble. We kid you not!
'It became very obvious from the start that I was never going to be the best singer or dancer or actress. I was never a natural. I've never been that good at anything, to be completely honest.'
Argh, we're having trouble with this. How do you take the piss out of someone when they are being so down on themselves. We agree with everything she's saying but we're finding it hard not to feel sorry for her. What is this new emotion Celebritish is feeling? Sympathy, you say? We're suddenly very queazy, can someone open a window?
'People would push me around, say they were going to beat me up after school, chase me. It was miserable, my whole schooling, miserable. They were literally picking stones up out of puddles and throwing them at me.'
Oh god, we can't bear it, who would have thought we could ever feel sorry for Posh? We're going for a lie down.