Tuesday, 22 January 2008
Readers, it is with great discomfort that we reveal to you the fact that promotional shots of Kelly Osbourne in Chicago were photoshopped.
We know, we couldn't believe it either, she's always so photogenic that we had no idea technological hocus-pocus would ever be used on her.
Honest as ever, Kelly reveals:
“They airbrushed my chin, because I had a little bit of a double chin"
Well that's a relief, we sometimes suffer from "a little bit of a double chin" so we can sympathise with her but wait, there's more:
"under my arm - because my corset was pulled in so tight I got a fanny pit"
My god, in this twisted quest for perfection will celebrities not stop at nothing? Wearing a corset so tight it forces your private parts under your arm is just wrong. I hope you're happy Dita Von Teese...
Oh, it seems we were wrong, it's just "in the picture it looked like a vagina!” Thank goodness for that, anyway we thought all she talked about these days was losing weight? Here we go:
"Today, the media looks down more on someone who’s overweight than someone who’s a junkie. For f**k’s sake, they glorify Pete Doherty!”
Eh? The only person who glorifies Pete Doherty is Pete Doherty, everyone else thinks he's a pathetic waste of oxygen. Anyway, there are more important things to discuss, like Kelly's dress size:
“Even when I was bigger, I still don’t consider myself to have been fat. Being a size 12 is not fat. Just because I’m a size 8-10 now doesn’t mean that a size 12 was fat.”
Did you hear that you fattist bastards? She's size 8 now and don't you forget it! So you'll have to stop taking the piss out of her. But we thought the point was that being fat was nothing to be ashamed of anyway? How very confusing.